Kitty! Rurouni Kenshin
by Kitty Katana
Summary: I interview RK characters! Only chaos and madness can ensue! A fic dedicated to the sugar high! Yahiko's chaper finally up!
1. Kenshin

Domo minna! Welcome to the show that gets characters hyper, then interviews them! Kitty! I wrote this an hour after I posted Yottsu Jueru. I am so hyper!  
  
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Kitty: Today's interviews will be with the cast of Ruroni Kenshin!  
  
Audience: (unenthusiastically) yay.  
  
Kitty: *growls, bearing pointy teeth*  
  
Audience: (nervously, but loudly) YAY!  
  
Kitty: Better. Today's first guest will be Himura Kenshin!  
  
Kenshin: *walks out on stage, waving to audience*  
  
Kitty: Hello, Kenshin!  
  
Kenshin: Hello, Kitty-dono!  
  
Kitty: Let's get right to it. I will ask the questions, and if you don't answer, we let loose Jurromaru!  
  
Jurromaru: *roars, foams*  
  
Kitty: Yeah, I love Inuyasha. This is actually the out of control freak from the Inu manga.  
  
Kenshin: eek.  
  
Kitty: So, Kenshin, you used to be a manslayer. Tell me exactly what it was like killing people. I mean, ew.  
  
Kenshin: (wide-eyed, excited) Oh, it was great. I'd be all rip, slash, cut. *runs around, swinging sword madly* Then they'd be all: AAGGGHHHH!!! *pauses, sits, regains composure* But Sessha does realize that killing is wrong, that it is.  
  
Kitty: *sits in chair with Toraneko katana (tiger-cat sword {that's my sword}) in front of her, protecting herself.* Umm.Alright. *grows devil horns, gives evil look* so. do you love Kaoru, do ya, do ya, do ya?  
  
Kenshin: *looks around nervously* Hai, Kaoru-dono and I are good friends.  
  
Kitty: *nudges Kenshin* C'mon, you know that's not what I mean, Kenshin. *laughs evilly, quietly*  
  
Jurromaru: *growls continuously*  
  
Kensin: *breaks down* Yes! I LOVE KAORU!!! Do you hear me?!?! LOVE!!!! *laughing insanly* Ahahahahahahahahaha- *faints*  
  
Kitty: *holds Toraneko katana dull-side-down over Kenshin who has a large lump on his head* Gomen, Kenshin, but you're scaring me.  
  
Kenshin: *swirly-eyed, moans, out cold*  
  
Kitty: Oooo. commercial.  
  
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Kaoru- (cheerfully) Hey! Do you want to use your sword to protect people?  
  
Audience- NO!  
  
Kaoru- Too bad! Because you will come down to my dojo, where I teach the Kamiya-Kasshin style as assistant master, whether you like it or not!  
  
Camera- *turns away from Kaoru as she speaks to look at Megumi*  
  
Kaoru- Sanosuke!  
  
Camera- *jerks back to look at very angry Kaoru*  
  
Kaoru- *hits Sano with bokuto* (thanks goddess Shinko!)  
  
Camera- *falls blacks out* *Kaoru can be heard yelling at Sano*  
  
Megumi- Oh ho ho ho. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^  
  
Kitty: And we're back! I thought the legendary Hitokari Battosai would be up by now, but.  
  
Battosai: *rises slowly and menacingly behind Kitty* I don't appreciate being hit.  
  
Kitty: AAGGHHH!! *suddenly goes Battosai-like*  
  
Kitty: And I don't like being scared!  
  
Kitty & Battosai: *draw swords*  
  
**************************************************************************** ***************  
  
PLEASE STAND BY ..............  
  
**************************************************************************** *****************  
  
Kitty: *standing over Battosai* (muttering) mess with me will you? I'm no push-over sword-man.  
  
Kaoru: *stomps out onto stage* *hits Kitty with bokuto* . and that commercial made me look bad. *drags Kenshin off the stage lecturing about Kenshin not making dinner*  
  
Kitty: NNNOOOO!!! I have been defeated! Next time: Kamiya Kaoru  
  
*credits rolling*  
  
Kitty: *walks into dressing room, turns on light, screams*  
  
Kenshin and Kaoru: *making out*  
  
Kaoru: Oh, sorry. We didn't think anyone was in here!  
  
Kitty: *sighs, shuts off light, closes door* finally.  
  
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I KNOW IT'S BAD, but I'm soo hyper. Your flames will be used to make more sugary snacks, though I'm not sure how. I love Kenshin and Kaoru pairings, so I stuck that little. uh, scene in, whether it fits into the story or not. Kaoru is my hero, so she may show up throughout my story.  
  
I'm not sure if that wooden sword was called a bokken, but I thought it sounded familiar. Cya soon. *Jurromaru gets loose, knaws off cameraman's leg*  
  
I originally posted this, then pulled it, but I got such overwhelming support to keep going, that I'm re-posting it and continuing it. See what your reviews can do? I'm making personalized review responses, so if you want a reply, REVIEW!!! *laughs maniacally, turns around, runs into wall*  
  
I'm okay! 


	2. Kaoru

Domo minna! Well, if you didn't read this in my updated chapter one, I pulled this story about two days after I first posted it. Because of all your great reviews, I have decided to put it back up again, as well as to continue the story! See what your reviews can do?  
  
InuYasha- {I have no idea why  
  
We will continue after a brief thank to those who have reviewed chapter one.  
  
Nameless- Thank you very much. I'm glad you like it. *smiles, dances* Toby- Sugar high people are always happy! I love getting reviews from you guys! I do plan to give them some time, but once Kaoru is decent, we go on with the show! *knocks on dressing room door* Hey, are you guys done yet? Jeff Hardy Lvr 619- Hey, I love your style of sugarness! Your story was great! I do love to read reviewer's stories. *pushes Kenshin into her own closet, along with about fifty others* ALONE- Read on! Kaoru's turn. And.*hands ALONE a pizza* Enjoy! Kleptomaniac- Thanx for the suggestion. I will interview as many people as I can. I don't know everyone's personalities yet, but as you saw, I do screw with characters a little bit. Sorry, I'm not blonde, but hey, I'll try! *finds box of blonde hair dye, laughs maniacally* Tell me how I do! Yuhi- I will continue to be annoying and hyper! Ahahahaha! *runs, falls down flight of stairs* I'm okay.*groans* Goddess Shinko- Thanks so much, I hope you got my Email. Mina-chan- See E-mail. I'm glad you liked it! *bows* Akayia- Um. Okay! Works for me! La Belle Dame Sans Merci- I will take your advice on the sugar! Sugar is good! Good! Good! X-SANO-X- I'll be sure to use your question when I interview Sano, but Uh. I'd like to know where you got that question.  
  
Also thanks to these kind reviewers who helped with questions for Kaoru: Yuhi La Belle Dame Sans Merci May-chan Kairi321 You will be credited with your questions.  
  
ON WITH THE SHOW! ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^  
  
Kitty- *walks in, is now blonde* Hello, and thank you for joining us!  
  
Audience- *cheer and applaud*  
  
Kenshin- *standing behind Kitty* Bye everybody! *leaves*  
  
Kitty- and look who else is here: ME!  
  
Audience- *silent*  
  
Kitty- *scoffs* Thanks guys.I'd like you to meet my little sister Fluffy Hatsukoi ((puppy love)) she will be acting as our stand-in cameraperson, since our old guy is now missing some limbs *chuckles nervously*.  
  
Jurromaru- *licks fingers, growls*  
  
Fluffy- *waves, steals Kitty's sugar, bounces around the room* Mwahahahahahahahahahaha!!! SUGAH!!  
  
Kitty- DIE!!! *beats Fluffy over the head with Toraneko katana, regains sugary stuff*  
  
Fluffy- *groans, faints*  
  
Kitty- Anyway, today we have the lovely Kamiya Kaoru!  
  
Audience- *cheers*  
  
Rowdy guy in audience- yeah, baby! She's so hot!  
  
Kenshin- *stabs guy*  
  
Kitty- EEEWWW! *whines* KENSHIN! *hits button* *guy's chair flips, dumps him off under the seats* We lose more audience members that way. Kaoru! Come on down, you're the next contestant on Kitty- Ruroni Kenshin!  
  
*lights search audience, land on Kaoru eating popcorn*  
  
Kaoru- *walks up to chairs on stage, sits down* Hello.  
  
Kitty- Omeasan Kaoru-chan! Dochirahe?  
  
Kaoru- Komaka. Dochirahe, Kitty-chan.  
  
Kitty- Odorokubeki, domo Beigo, Kaoru.  
  
(((WARNING: do not speak to some Japanese person like this! I know nothing but words in Japanese, no grammar! I think verbs even come at the end of the sentence! Thanx to Goddess Shinko who may be helping me translate this to actual Japanese)))  
  
Kaoru- Oh, right!  
  
Kitty- Well, now that we've survived the chaos of the show's opening, we will begin our inquiry. Kaoru: first question is from Yuhi! Yuhi asks: "how long did it take for you to grow your hair that long?"  
  
Kaoru- He He He. *pulls out hair extensions, her hair is shoulder length*  
  
Kitty- right. that's a little weird. Our next question comes from La Belle Dame Sans Merci. "Do Kaoru and Kenshin." Oh God! This is a PG fic! Yikes!  
  
Kaoru- huh?  
  
Kitty- We're going to take this opportunity to go to a commercial break!  
  
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Shishio- Oww. Does your body hurt due to the fact that your newly reformed government has tried to assassinate you? I thought so. Are you burnt so badly that you cannot sweat? I had the same problem until I discovered Burnie band-aides from band-aide brand .  
  
Fluffy- If you're like Shishio, use Burnie band-aides from band-aide brand . Burnies contain a special ingredient that helps to heal burn damage. (Band-aide brand is not responsible for any deaths caused by over heating of band-aides and bursting into flames, causing death or serious injury. Burnies do contain highly-flammable motor oil)  
  
Shishio- *bursts into flames, again* AGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGH! HELP! *dies*  
  
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Kitty- We're back *cringes at commercial* That was created almost in entirety by Fluffy! Don't flame me for it!  
  
Kaoru- *snores, is actually asleep*  
  
Kitty- Hey! Hey! Hey!  
  
Kaoru- huh? *drooling* Oh, I'm sorry.  
  
Kitty- Oh, Kami, help me. Well, I guess we go back to questions now. May- chan asks: "Why on EARTH are you the only one who gets to wear different dresses while the others just have the same clothes?" and "How did Kenshin know you have a weird reaction to alcohol?"  
  
Kaoru- Well, if those FREELOADERS would stop ruining all my best kimonos, I wouldn't have to get NEW ONES! *breathing heavily*  
  
Kitty- *hiding in chair* Whoa, we hit a sensitive spot! Anyway, what about the second question?  
  
++++++ flashback ++++++  
  
* Kenshin's first night at the dojo. He is holding a crystal ball in front of Kaoru* Hmm. interesting. I see. alcohol. and you naked on the roof of the Akebeko. *Kaoru blushes furiously* ++++++end flashback ++++++  
  
Kitty- That was weird.  
  
Kaoru- Yeah, I don't like to remember that.  
  
Kitty- I just got a really nasty picture *sweat drop *. NEXT QUESTION!!!! It's from Kairi321 who asks: " Does Kaoru like Sano you like love or crush?" I'm going to translate this just in case, Kairi. You asked if Kaoru likes Sano? Okay.  
  
Sano- tell 'em baby! We're madly in love, aren't we Kaoru? AGGHH! THE CAMERA! MY SOUL! *runs away screaming*  
  
Kitty- Someone take him home, please! Our next question is from Yuhi who asks: "What would you do if 5 million men wanted your hand in marriage?" and this question for Kenshin: "What would you do if Kaoru had 5 million men wanting her hand in marriage?"  
  
Kaoru- Wow. five million men wanting my hand in marriage? *sighs dreamily*  
  
Kenshin- Kaoru. *annoyed*  
  
Kaoru- Of course I would never leave Kenshin, but five million men.  
  
Kitty- *stifled laughter at the look of annoyance on Kenshins face* Well, that's all the time we have for today, we can't afford any more! *hysterical laughter*  
  
*credits rolling*  
  
Sano- *wakes up in police station* Where am I? Now I remember. Oh shi.  
  
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Okay, that's it! More chapters if you want 'em! Review and tell me! Also leave questions for. Yahiko or Sanosuke! Whoever gets more questions will be done first!  
  
Thanks so much for your questions. As you can see, they made the writing go about ten times faster! Leave reviews and questions!  
  
Serious people, don't flame me! This is not a fic to be taken seriously at all! 


	3. SuperOOC Sano

Domo Minna! Arigatou for reading! I got lots of reviews. Weird, I didn't get any for my other fic... maybe that's a hint. Oh, BTW, my computer is seriously malfunctioning! Yay! The last chapter was way screwed for anyone who noticed, and it may take a little while to fix. So, thank you so much for all your reviews! Only 1 flame! Over 20 reviews so far. So, I decided to do Sanosuke first because I got really good questions for him. By the way, if anyone couldn't tell, our guest today was drunk in our last interview. Hopefully he's sobered up.  
  
Please note: If there is a period (.) in the middle of a sentence, it was most likely typed in as etc. (dot. Dot. Dot.) K? Also, my computer doesn't embolden or italicize anything. 'thinking' "question quoting" I'm really sorry. I'll try to fix it soon!  
  
Please review; I need your questions for Yahiko (or anybody else really)! He's next if I can get enough questions. Gomen to people who requested characters from the Kyoto arch. I don't know them well enough yet to interview them. I can only keep up with what Cartoon Network plays. Gomen! I can't get too much information from what is posted on websites. Does anyone have any suggestions for where I can find more RK stuff? Arigatou!  
  
Disclaimer  
  
Kitty- *running away carrying the rights to Ruroni Kenshin, trips over a log*  
  
Cop- That's it. Give me the rights. Nice and easy now.  
  
Kitty- NEVER!  
  
Cops- *take rights*  
  
Kitty- damn.  
  
One more piece of information to stall: thank you to reviewers  
  
X-SANO-X: Okay, I'm going to ask this, I think. That question scared me a bit. * laughs nervously*. Thanks again for your sugary solutions! Yuhi: Wow! You're very welcome. HUGE thanks for reviewing all of my chapters! I would love more questions! I had fun messing around with the one you gave me last time! * holds Kaoru's extensions* Vixie: Hey! How is you, Vixie? Thanks a bunch for reviewing. I'll update Kenshin's chapter for you. How does that sound? I like your questions. They sound like fun! I love to hear how much people love sugar-high fics! Stick around for more to come! Akayia: Liked your question. I'll have to kill Megumi after her interview. * unsheathes Toraneko katana* but maybe not. Yami-Akasha: The second I nail down all of Soujiro's character traits, I'll start on him, but first I still have to do Yahiko, Megumi, Misao, Aoshi, maybe some minor characters and villains thus far! I know a lot of people like Soujiro, but I only have access to him through Cartoon Network *grr* and I just saw him for the first time yesterday. Don't worry. I'm working on it. Cam Harvay: Ooooh. I like it. Let's see about answering it. Battosai: I'm glad you enjoyed it, that I am. Wow, thanks for taking time to review my little old fic! Love your writing! You write more, I'll write more, K? Glad my bio had the right effect! I read people's bios, but I didn't think anyone was really reading mine! (I'm insane) not really, too! Thank you! Nameless: * grins* Thanks, I can always use a bit of moral support. CrazieAnimeGrl: Thanks for the question for Sano, and Yahiko, too! I'm doing him next! Seraphim: Good to hear from you again! *Accepts sugar and chocolate* Yummy. Oh yeah, go check your Emails! I sent you 3, I think, on my other story. I don't know whether or not I'll continue it, I haven't gotten many reviews. Email me back, anyway! I'll see what I can do about your question.  
  
Special thank you to those of you who gave me questions:  
  
X-SANO-X  
  
Vixie Akayia Cam Harvay CrazieAnimeGrl Seraphim  
  
Now let's go do the show!  
  
________________________________________________________________  
  
Kitty- hello and welcome to Kitty! Ruroni Kenshin! We have our cameraperson, * Fluffy waves* our, uh, (to producers) what are we calling him?  
  
Producer 1- Security guard?  
  
Producer 2- sounds good to me.  
  
Kitty- Fine. Our security guard.  
  
Jurromaru- *growls, foams *  
  
Kitty- Right, could we put him back in the cage? Anyway, today's guest will be Sanosuke Sagara {I know I did everyone else's last name, first name, like they actually do in Japan as I'm told, but Sano's just didn't sound right: Sagara Sanosuke?! Sorry, Sano} Okay! Now that that's out of the way, come on out Sano!  
  
Sano- * peeks out from curtain, screams like little girl* EEEKKKK! My soul! {Part two of the Sano vs. cameras series}  
  
Kitty- Come on, man!  
  
Sano- * is examining the camera, his nose is pressed against the lens*  
  
Fluffy- {our camera girl} Uhh. hi?  
  
Sano- * bleep* .it talks!?! {Minna, meet super OOC Sano!}  
  
Fluffy- * sticks head over the camera* I am the master of the camera! Mwahahahahahahaha!  
  
Sano- * bleep* * bleep* * bleep*  
  
Kitty- hello? This is my show, a little camera action please?  
  
Fluffy- oh, yeah! * eats sugar*  
  
Kitty- Anyway, let's get to questions! Akayia provided our first question. Akayia asks: Why doesn't Sano "just get with Megumi, and get it over with. You can tell they like each other." Agreed, Akayia! So Sano?  
  
Sano- * crosses arms* Hey, I do not like that fox.  
  
Kitty- * accusing finger* You just called her a fox; you think she's hot?  
  
Sano- That's what we all- I mean- no, but-  
  
Kitty- * wicked grin* {this is the 'grinch' smile}  
  
Sano- Hey, what're you smiling at?  
  
Kitty- Oh, nothing, nothing at all. {reminder: 'this' is thought}'You know, I hear there are only two things you can see from space, the Great Wall of China, and how much you and Megumi like each other.'  
  
Sano- Enough of this crap on to the next question.  
  
Kitty- Denial ain't just a river in Egypt. but we'll humor you. Our next question comes from Cam Harvay, who asks: What does Sano think "of planes and automobiles, since we already know his opinion of trains." Good question! Sanosuke.?  
  
Sano- All technology is evil. You know what else is evil? The Meiji government! In fact, I brought a list in case.  
  
Kitty- Nani? * warming her hands on Sanosuke's list, which is now on fire* Oh, oops! Kitty no Baka! Okay, well that segment is screwed! Nobody here really likes to talk politics, our ratings would drop anyway! Next question is from SANO-X-SANO who wants to know: "What would he do if Fan_girls caught him and locked him in a cage?" Okay, since it's not in any way dirty. yet. Sano, you have to answer it or "you know what".  
  
Jurromaru- * growls*  
  
Sano- * thinking* hmm. are these fan_girls pretty?  
  
Kitty- well, I don't know. I guess.  
  
Megumi- * fox ears* Oh, Rooster head, we need you around the dojo, though.  
  
Sano- hmm.  
  
* Jeopardy music plays*  
  
Kitty- COMMERCIAL!  
  
Megumi- Are you looking for a medical center that cares? Well, you should come to. uh.  
  
Dr. Gensai- (off camera) It doesn't really have a name!  
  
Megumi- What the hell do you mean it doesn't have a name.{ Minna, meet super OOC Megumi, well, except for maybe the end.}  
  
Dr. Gensai- Well, you know that one day that I was supposed to come up with a name.?  
  
Megumi- Oh, you didn't.  
  
Dr. Gensai- he he he.  
  
Megumi- * turns back to camera* I'm sorry everyone. I feel that I've failed you in coming up for the name of our hospital. I'll never face you again. I feel I must repent. * grabs dagger, is finally able to kill herself* { Sorry to Megumi fans. I'll use what I can to bring her back to life * holds up rusty needle*. You know how she's always trying to kill herself, it's like she's looking for an excuse. That sort of bugs me.} _____________________________________________________________  
  
Kitty- Are you happy, Akayia? I'm doing special requests. Good, now back to the show.  
  
Sano- * finishes writing on the jeopardy podium that has just appeared*  
  
Alex Trebeck {sp?}- Your final answer Sanosuke?  
  
Sano- * hits button*  
  
Podium- * bing*  
  
A.T.- * reads aloud* 'I would punch them all out and go back unless they were really hot or had.' Oh, you ran out of room.  
  
Sano- I put it in the wager box.  
  
Audience- * covers eyes so as not to see what the girls 'had'*  
  
A.T.- *continues reading* . somewhere that I could gamble.' Interesting.  
  
Audience- * sigh of relief*  
  
Sano- nani?  
  
Kitty- Never mind, let's go to the next question, shall we? It comes from CrazieAnimeGrl who asks- "Sanosuke, why do you always have a red bandana on your head?"  
  
Sano- Man, I don't know. Why does Kenshin always wear pink?  
  
Kenshin- That wasn't very nice, that it wasn't Sano.  
  
Kitty- Um, right. Next question is from Seraphim. Seraphim asks: "Did you know your sword. looks like a butter knife?"  
  
Sano- * cracks knuckles* Who needs a sword? *lunges at reviewer*  
  
Kitty- *beats Sano over the head before he can hurt reviewers* I suppose that's it isn't it? Okay, see you guys later.  
  
*credits roll*  
  
Janitor- * 'picking up' after Megumi {who made a mess in her commercial}, cursing*  
  
I know, I know. That one sucked. I didn't do too well with Sano, did I? I'm calling him super OOC Sano. I extend my deepest apologies to Sano fans! Please don't flame me! Give me ideas to improve this one. I'm almost positive I'll be redoing it. Also look for added questions in Kenshin's chapter from Vixie! Arigatou for reading! Make my day, review! *Hugs every reviewer so far* Either review or Email me questions, whatever! Okay, I'm outta here! * Turns around, runs into wall, falls down* Owie! Re.view. Email. *finally passes out* Author's notes are my favorite part! Bye! Review. Onegai *puppy dog eyes *? Yahiko next! 


	4. Yahiko

Whew! Finally got the time to do Yahiko's chapter! I gots lots of reviews! You make me so happy! Stuff turned out crappy in the last chapter. Sorry for that. I'll try to make my thank yous legible. I don't have much to write here this time.  
  
Oh yeah, the 'T' on my laptop's keyboard is broken. I apologize for any spelling errors because of it.  
  
I am on two favorites lists! Oh my gosh! Yay! Yay! Yay! Hugs for Seraphim and JffHrvyLvr3! Hugs for reviewers! Hugs for me!  
  
X-SANO-X- He he. Cooked and ate him? That's interesting. You're funny. I don't think I've seen his sword. Sorry. Hey, feel free to him! He's up for grabs now that I've taken care of Megumi. *laughs evilly*  
  
Yuri (Yuhi)- Thanks for the questions! I am SOO grateful for your continuing reviews! Makes me feel like my story is good enough to come back to! Aww. I'm in the 'category of authors who do not update' already? I'd better hurry! I'll update your questions into Sano's chapter. *Types until her fingers fall off* anything for you!  
  
CrazieAnimeGrl- Here's your question for Yahiko!  
  
Quist- I'll update the last chapter! I completely missed your question! I'm so sorry!  
  
Fluffs- Hey! You gave me a question. Am I obligated to thank you? You're my little sister. How about I don't kill you today and we call it even? Get working on Twisted Monopoly before I finish it myself! *hits Fluffy upside- the-head with Toraneko Katana*  
  
Jovian Angel- I loved 'Say Cheese'! It was great! Update soon, kay? I could have fun with your questions for the characters! Yahiko's will be answered here. 'The clash'? That's great! Ha ha ha ha ha. Hiko's question will be answered in a later chapter; I may put him in with the minor characters if I don't get enough questions to do his chappie by himself. Aoshi may be in the minor characters or minor villains or with Misao! That could be fun. Yumi and Saitou and possibly Megumi the deceased will be in minor characters. Wow, I could do a chapter with your questions alone! I don't mind ranting, I love it when people give me stuff to respond to, and thank yous are one of my favorite parts of the story. The E-mail address you gave me was very creative, too. My Email is MentallyUnstableKitty@TheInstituteForSwordHappyKittiesWithoutLivesOutsideInu yasha.com  
  
Thanks to people who gave me questions-  
  
X-SANO-X  
  
Yuri (Yuhi)  
  
CrazieAnimeGrl  
  
Fluffy Hatsukoi  
  
Jovian Angel  
  
*********************************************************************  
  
Disclaimer- I own no characters of Ruroni Kenshin. If I did. you would all be drowning in fluff!  
  
Kitty- what's up guys?  
  
Audience- *still grumbling about OOC-ness in previous chapter *  
  
Kitty- *cries * I'm so sorry! *Kitty-cat eyes*  
  
Audience- AaaaWWWW!  
  
Kitty- I'll do better. *sniff * Let's try with Yahiko. Come up on stage. Yahiko? Yahiko? Where is that kid?  
  
Yahiko- * yelling* I'm NOT a kid!  
  
Kitty- * gets up from her giant fluffy host's chair to find Yahiko*  
  
Audience- huh?  
  
Kitty- *walking down backstage * hmm.  
  
Voice- harder! 498. 499. 500!  
  
Kitty- There you are! Kaoru, we need Yahiko! Now!  
  
Yahiko- *arms fall off *  
  
Kitty- um, ew. Darn it! I knew that was going to happen one of these times! Can we get a doctor?  
  
Producer- No. You killed her.  
  
Kitty- Kuso! I had this nasty feeling that was going to come back to haunt me. Quick commercial break! We'll be back!  
  
Saitou- Want a great cigarette? Well, Tokyo Smokie-os are the best around. *Breaths in cigarette, chokes* Oh God! I can't breath! Help! *cough cough cough, eyes bulge*  
  
Kenshin- Don't want this happening to you? Smoking is bad, that it is. This has been a public service announcement, paid for by. (To cue-card guy) Hurry up! . Oh yeah, Tokyo's anti-smoking league and the surgeon general.  
  
Surgeon General- *savagely beats Saitou, who is still choking, until he gives up his cigarette for a patch*  
  
Kitty- *pats Saitou on the head* Who's a good boy? Saitou's a good boy!  
  
Saitou- *pants like dog* Wait! Why the hell am I doing this? *Walks away*  
  
Kitty- I'm Baack! Whew, that commercial was exhausting! Saitou went on a mad cigarette rampage. After which, the SG caught him and uh. well. we had to postpone Saitou's chapter. Okay Yahiko, our old friend X-SANO-X kicks things off with the first question! The question is: "What would.[Yahiko] do if Kenshin and Sano cooked and ate him?"  
  
Yahiko- Uh.  
  
Sano and Kenshin- Hmmm..  
  
Sano- I wonder.  
  
Yahiko- Hey!  
  
Kitty- Enough! Yuri is next! Yuri wants to know: "Why do you tease Kaoru?"  
  
Yahiko- 'Cause it's fun?  
  
Kaoru- GGGGRRRR!  
  
Kenshin- maa maa, Kaoru-koishii.  
  
*Kaoru and Kenshin walk off*  
  
Kitty- Yuri also wants to know the first thing you would do if you saw someone bullying Tsubame.  
  
Yahiko- *pulls boukuto out of nowhere* I would take 'em out!  
  
Tsubame- Yahiko-chan, you're so brave!  
  
Yahiko- Don't call me 'chan'!  
  
Kitty- Okay, next question is from my itou-chan, Fluffy Hatsukoi! She asks "You been eyeing lotsa girls lately, when are you gonna find one you actually like? Itou, you typed your review in under my pen name! Well, answer the question Yahiko.  
  
Yahiko- Oh, uh..  
  
Tsubame- You like me, right Yahiko?  
  
Marimo- No! He likes me!  
  
Tsubame- He saved me from a group of thugs!  
  
Marimo- Me, too!  
  
*get into a huge catfight*  
  
Kitty- *beats them both unconscious with Yahiko*  
  
Yahiko- AAAGGHH! Oof, oof, uh. *dazed*  
  
Kitty- Oops. Sorry Yahiko-chan.  
  
Yahiko- *disoriented* Don't call me Yahiko-cheese.  
  
Kitty- Next question! Jovian Angel asks: "Why does he have such bad fashion sense? Green with YELLOW?! That's just so not right..."  
  
Yahiko- Hey! I like these! *points at clothes*  
  
Kitty- That makes one of us. Our next question comes frm CrazieAnimeGrl, who asks: Yahiko, why don't you consider dying your hair red if you look up to Kenshin so much?  
  
Yahiko- Good point! *dyes his hair red*  
  
Kitty- Hey, this is getting repetitive. *braiding newly dyed blonde hair* Well, that's all folks! I'm off to find Saitou!  
  
*credits roll*  
  
*Marimo and Tsubame beat each other sensless as Saitou trys to get away from SG. *  
  
Wasn't that fun? Ask questions for minor and filler characters! These include: Megumi, Tsubame, Marimo, Ayame, Suzume, Dr. Genzai, that sumo wrestler, Hiko, or anyone else you can think of! I'll also stick in Kenji, Tomoe, Saitou and Misao somewhere.  
  
The chapter after that will be villains! Aoshi, Chou, Enishi, Jin-eh, Soujiro, Shishio, Yumi, Anji, anybody! 


	5. Megumi, Hiko, Sumo Dude, Saitou, Yumi, a...

Kitty! Ruroni Kenshin Chapter 6  
  
Yay! Here I am again! I've been on a writing roll for a while now. I'm going nonstop and trying to take advantage of it!  
  
People who didn't see your questions in previous chapters, I'm really sorry! I'll update all my chapters once my streak is done. I check your reviews through my E-mail and apparently it malfunctioned slightly. I'll try to get everybody's questions up real soon!  
  
I'm on 5 favorites lists! Oh, wow! I'm so excited! Thank you: Seraphim Cherry Sama Whitetail Jeff Hardy Lvr 619 WriterFormerlyKnownAs X-SANO-X  
  
I kinda screwed up and have been spelling Rurouni wrong *beats head against wall* I feel stupid.  
  
  
  
Thank yous-  
  
Meow the chibi neko- I think I finally decided to do Aoshi and Misao in a chapter together. I'll put Jin-eh in with the villains. Hopefully you'll see your questions real soon! Thanks for reviewing!  
  
Cherry Sama- Thank you so much! Wow, what a great compliment! Reviews like these keep me writing.  
  
Kiyara- *grins* Thanks a bunch! I didn't think it was really funny reading back on it. Maybe a little bit stupid, but not funny. I love writing this 'cause nobody who reviews can be too serious about it!  
  
Demoness- *chuckles* You really think so? I know Kenshin went off on a little rampage. but everybody is more or less in character? I was hoping somebody would tell me how I did in that department. Thank you so much! Your review meant a lot!  
  
Dark Shadow Wolf- Well, you seem very energetic about this. COOL! I'm very glad you liked it! I think I can include all of your questions in this chapter. Y'all come back now, 'ya hear? Thanks for the review!  
  
Akayia- I'm really glad you're having fun with this! That's all I really want. We just can't seem to be rid of Megumi, though.  
  
Disclaimer- She claimed she owned a pair of jeans, She claimed she owned some tops. Kitty claimed she owned RK And got busted by the cops.   
  
Kitty- Hello and welcome to our newest edition of Kitty! Rurouni Kenshin. Today, we'll be interviewing minor-you're-not-as-important-as-the-main- characters characters!  
  
Fluffy- That was overdone.  
  
Kitty- Shut up! One day I shall rule the world!  
  
(Background goes dark as Kitty laughs maniacally for a few minutes)  
  
Kitty- Mwahahahahahahaha Mwahahahahahahaha Mwahahahahahahahaha!  
  
(Background goes back to normal)  
  
Kitty- Okay, I think first up we'll have- The spirit of the late Takani Megumi!  
  
Megumi- *floats out of wall* OoOoh. OoOoh.  
  
Kitty- Cut it, Kitsune.  
  
Megumi- Humph.  
  
Kitty- *Growls, flattens ears [so, I can have cat ears if I want, can't I? Inu's got dog-ears.]* First question! I think I'll do- *looks through E- mail] Dark Shadow Wolf is first! Mainly cause I can't find any other E- mails having to do with Megumi that I can get to at the moment! The question is "Do you like Kenshin?" Fair question. You must answer, Megumi.  
  
Megumi- *fox ears* Ohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohoh oh [and so on and so on]  
  
(Kitty looks at her watch as Megumi laughs without taking a breath. Kitty is counting to herself.)  
  
Megumi- [as continued] ohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohhoho hohohoho!  
  
Kitty- Darn it! She can laugh for five minutes straight without one breath! Kaoru, you won the bet!  
  
Kaoru- Hell, yeah!  
  
Kenshin- Uh, Kaoru-dono?  
  
Kitty- Nevermind. Um, can we assume that the answer is yes?  
  
Megumi- Ohohohohohohohohohohohoho-  
  
Kitty- SHUT UP! Dark Shadow Wolf also wants to know if you would ".like to do "things" to Kenshin."  
  
Kenshin- ORO?!?!  
  
Kitty- Like "torture".  
  
Megumi- *Uppity as usual* No. In repentance for making Opium, I have decided to avoid at all costs hurting anyone anymore. *Smirks [those of you with your heads in the gutter can decide what she's smirking about.]*  
  
Kitty- Okay, that's all the questions anyone wants to ask you. bye!  
  
(Megumi vanishes in a puff of smoke. Sumo Dude [who will now be reffered to as S.D.] drops through the roof, into the chair next to Kitty. Unfortunately, sessha doesn't know the true name of S.D., that she does not.)  
  
Kitty- Hey, S.D.!  
  
S.D.- I have a name it's-  
  
Kitty- Nobody cares! Our first and only question for you- it's from Dark Shadow Wolf again! "How come when Kaoru pinches you, you get that burst of energy? Does she turn you on?"  
  
S.D.- My mom used to do that to get me to do something I didn't want to. *It looks like he's finished*  
  
Kitty- *waits*  
  
S.D.- What?  
  
Kitty- The second question, Sumo Dude.  
  
S.D.- Um, he he.  
  
Kenshin- *going Battousai*  
  
S.D.- *Wets his Sumo-diaper* NO!! *runs away* You people are insane!  
  
(SG [surgeon general from last chapter's commercial] chucks him out the front door. He lands next to Saitou.)  
  
Kitty- You know what time it is?  
  
Audience- COMMERCIAL!  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* From the creators of burnie band-aides -  
  
Misao- Are you so ugly that people run away from your ugliness? Were you beaten with an ugly stick as a child?  
  
(Pictures of ugly guys from the series flash (Shishio, Jin-eh, etc). Everyone screams and runs away.)  
  
Misao- Than use ugly-away! *sticks what looks like a giant band-aide over all the guys in the pictures*  
  
('After' pictures flash. They all look great.)  
  
Misao- Aoshi-sama, Aoshi-sama, Aoshi-sama, Aoshi-sama. OH, NEVERMIND! *runs wildly after Jin-eh, who now looks like an un-gay male model [sorry. I think a lot of male models look like they're gay. Apologies to anyone who IS a male model and IS NOT gay]*  
  
Kitty- EW! Misao!  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Kitty- I'm kinda out of questions for filler characters. We're going to go to Saitou. Jurromaru [Me no own, either]?  
  
(Jurromaru is taken on his leash to find Saitou. Scooby Doo style music is heard.)  
  
ONE HOUR LATER  
  
Kitty- If I hear that song one more time- Someone- will- DIE!  
  
(Jurromaru and handler come back in. Jurromaru is dragging Saitou by the arm. His handler is missing a leg.)  
  
Kitty- Okay. Saitou, how are you?  
  
Saitou- *is cold, wet, hungry and bloody* I'm cold, wet, hungry and bloody. Anything else?  
  
Kitty- Awwww. We love you to, Saitou. Don't we audience?  
  
Audience- AwWwWw. *'line to hug Saitou the bloody mess' forms in section 5*  
  
Kitty- Onward to the questions! Jovian Angel asks why do you smoke so much, even though it causes lung cancer?  
  
Saitou- *lights up while pondering the question*  
  
SG- *Attacks Saitou and gives him another patch* He's in the step-down program!  
  
Kitty- Good job, SG!  
  
Kenshin- *pats Saitou on the back* We're very proud of you, that we are.  
  
Saitou- *grumbles, walks away*  
  
Kenshin- We have educated Saitou about the dangers of smoking. Don't do drugs, kids! Alchohol and smoking are also bad for you!  
  
Kitty- I'm not paying you extra for that, Kenshin.  
  
Kenshin- DARN!  
  
Kitty- Gomen nasai! Next is Hiko!  
  
(Similarly to S.D., Hiko drops through the roof.)  
  
Kitty- RIGHT. How did that happen?  
  
Hiko- *Sparkly smile*  
  
Female members of audience- *swoon*  
  
Kitty- please. Jovian Angel wants to know why you wear "a white cape in the dirty old mountains" and I want to know why it always seems to be clean.  
  
Hiko- *cocks head, he doesn't get it*  
  
Kitty- Uh, Hiko?  
  
Hiko- *looks up at his name*  
  
Translator in audience- He doesn't speak Japanese! He's twice dubbed! On the Japanese show, he's dubbed out of Wakadakadoian!  
  
Hiko- *mutters some foreign stuff, probably in Wakadakadoian*  
  
Translator- He says he's just there to look pretty and carry around a sword.  
  
Kitty- *sarcastically* Great. Ask him the question!  
  
Translator- *speaks more Wakadakadoian*  
  
Hiko- *more Wakadakadoian stuff*  
  
Translator- He says the costume designer picked it and he uses a lot of Tide bleach.  
  
Kitty- Works for me! NEXT!  
  
(Hiko rips open his shirt to reveal the Superman 'S' and flies out the window. Yumi drops through the same window moments later.)  
  
Kitty- Two questions! One- Jovian Angel- Why do you love a jerk like Shishio? Two- Meow the chibi neko- why do you look so scary?  
  
Yumi- [Sessha thinks she knows who Yumi is, but if she is completely out of character, you must forgive me.] Lord Shishio is not a jerk!  
  
Kitty- *whacks Yumi with Toraneko katana* Anyone who opposes Kenshin is a jerk!  
  
Yumi- Kenshin's overrated. *gets whacked again*  
  
Kitty- Next question! Before I'm forced to kill you!  
  
Yumi- And I don't look scary!  
  
Kitty- Yes you do.  
  
Yumi- No I don't!  
  
Kitty- Yes you do!  
  
Yumi- No I don't!  
  
Kitty- Yes you do!  
  
(This continues until the end of the show)  
  
*credits roll*  
  
Yumi- No I don't!  
  
Kitty- Jurromaru!  
  
(Yumi is eaten)  
  
Shishio- Another one bites the dust.  
  
(Kenshin and Shishio fight)  
  
Hiko- Wakadaka-doo!  
  
  
  
I really need questions! Anyone who has been done already, as well as Aoshi, Misao, villains, and more minor characters [there may be a second edition of minors!] THANK YOU! REVIEW!  
  
Wakadakadoo, Wakadakadoian and all other aspects of Waka-ness are fake. Don't flame me for them, it just came off the top of my head.  
  
SAVE THE PUFFINS! Sorry, I'm finished... 


	6. Insanity Ensues! Aoshi and Misao Part 1

Kitty! Rurouni Kenshin Chapter 6  
  
Hey! Nothing to write... Have fun reading! And leave questions at the end, okay? Arigatou, minna!  
  
Disclaimer- *rubs magic eight ball* Do I own Rurouni Kenshin?  
  
8ball- No  
  
Must be malfunctioning! Do I own Rurouni Kenshin?  
  
8ball-No  
  
I'm still being patient! Do I own Rurouni Kenshin?'  
  
8ball- No  
  
I'm getting annoyed, but I'll try again. Do I own Rurouni Kenshin?  
  
8ball- NO  
  
I'll keep going until this thing works! Do I own Rurouni Kenshin?  
  
8ball- How many times do I have to tell you before you get it?!?!?! You do not own Rurouni Kenshin!!!!! BAKA!  
  
Rats! It says that every time!  
  
Thank yous-  
  
Yuhi- *laughs* Glad you decided to stick with one name! I'm on summer break! I still have homework, though! It really sucks! Thanks for the questions! Just in time, too! I always appreciate your reviews!  
  
Kittyluvshermaster- Glad you're happy! I should have gotten her a decent kimono before I killed her off... Hm, Oh well! I shall go on to kill other characters! To be honest, I cut out a lot of that scene where my uh- pet ate Yumi. It wasn't within my PG rating.  
  
Fariygrl7-  
  
Akayia- Yay! You've come back! I'm glad you still like it! I'm trying to update quickly, but I have my other fic that I'm really on a roll with. This got put on the back burner. Plus I was worried that it sorta stopped being funny. And I didn't get many reviews. I NEED QUESTIONS! I'll try to get stuff out faster.  
  
Kitty- Hello, everybody!  
  
Audience- *very hyper* Hi'ya, Kitty!  
  
Kitty- What's up with you guys?  
  
Random audience person- Some girl outside gave us all sugar!  
  
Kitty- FLUFFY!!!! *takes back sugary snacks- again*  
  
Fluffy- Aww... you're no fun!  
  
Kitty- Hey! Neither is our next guest! Audience, our next victims- er- characters! Aoshi and Misao!  
  
Misao- Kitty!  
  
Aoshi- *sips tea*  
  
Kitty- erm... So, how are you two doing?  
  
Misao- Oh, I've been great! In fact, yesterday we went into this nice little restaurant and had the best miso soup. After that we went out shopping and I got a great new set of...  
  
Kitty- So, you had a good time?  
  
Aoshi- *nods, sips more tea*  
  
Kitty- What a stiff! We have to get into questions! Aoshi, the first question is for you.  
  
Aoshi- hmm.  
  
Kitty- Our friend Yuhi asks "why don't u lighten up a bit, what's so wrong about doing such a simple thing?"  
  
Aoshi- What's wrong with being serious?  
  
(Kitty slaps him on the back and Aoshi sprays tea everywhere)  
  
Kitty- Uh- Ooops? Yuhi also asks Misao "do you ever let your hair out that braid?"  
  
Misao- As leader of the Oniwabash group, I-  
  
(Kitty gives her a 'look' [A/N- I hate the way Misao starts every statement with 'As leader of the Oniwabash group' and how she talks in that uppity tone constantly.])  
  
Misao- Yeah, I do. *pulls out of braid for effect*  
  
Kitty- It really IS blue. Misao, how-  
  
Misao- The hairdresser said it didn't look bad!  
  
Kitty- Sure. Next question! Another for Aoshi. Jovian Angel asks Aoshi- "why he carries 2 swords that are the same length..."  
  
Aoshi- *stands up, running around like crazy, slashing kodachi*CAUSE THEY'RE COOL!!  
  
Kitty- Well, we do bring you some interesting characters. Jovian Angel also wants to know why you never smile.  
  
(Aoshi attempts a smile. It ends up looking like a grimace. Children in the audience burst into tears and run away. As mothers run out to get their children, Aoshi is smacked with a hundred purses.)  
  
Kitty- AOSHI! Ugh, we'll be back after this commercial break... If we can fid a new audience...  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Hiko- Ever wanted to find an awesome cape? One that reflects your true inner mad genius? Or your authority? Or your love of fluffy bunnies? Well, then, come on down to Capes-We-Are [A/N- a cheap parody on Toys'R'Us, if you didn't get it.]  
  
Kitty- I love my new cape! It reflects my true inner self! (is wearing a black cape and her face is not visible)  
  
Shishio- Me too! (Is wearing a pink cape with fur trim)  
  
Soujiro- Me too! (Is wearing the same pink cape)  
  
Saitou- Me too! (Is wearing a cloud of smoke)  
  
Kitty- What exactly are you wearing under that, Smokey?  
  
Saitou- Uhhhh...  
  
Hiko- That's right, Capes-We-Are, located between the Aoyia and wherever Kaoru keeps getting those kimonos! Capes to reflect your inner-self at cheap, cheap, cheap!  
  
Kitty- My inner-self wants to be paid for this stupid commercial!  
  
Shishio, Soujiro and Saitou- Yeah!  
  
(A few minutes later, Kitty, Shishio, Soujiro and Saitou are chasing Hiko down the street in angry mob formation.)  
  
Hiko- I am but a simple pot-maker/cape salesman!  
  
Shishio- Yeah, and I'm a mad hitokiri who wants to take over Japan, so I need to be paid!  
  
Soujiro- That's right!  
  
Saitou- *smoke disappearing* I gotta get out of here! Where's my cigarette?  
  
(Surgeon General beats him into the ground and gives him a patch)  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Kitty- Okay, we're having slight debate as to Misao's role here. It's up to your vote! Shall we:  
  
Kill Misao? Have Mountains of Aoshi/Misao fluff?  
  
Misao- Hey, I...  
  
Jurromaru- *growling*  
  
Kitty: That's it!  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
*credits role as Jurromaru chases Misao around the stage*  
  
This is so random. 


	7. When Bloopers Go Bad

Hey minna! I feel really bad about not updating for a while now, but I'm having problems with questions, schedules, other stories, etc. Most of Aoshi and Misao's chapter is up, but I need your help in something! I'd like to hold a vote:  
  
~*~(((IMPORTANT NOTE!)))~*~: How many of you want romance between Aoshi and Misao, and how many of you want Aoshi to kill Misao? I need your vote! I don't like to kill off characters unless I'm sure /everyone/ will be happy.  
  
In other news, I'm learning Japanese. Go me! If anybody can help me/ send me helpful phrases/ Give me study advice/etc. Send stuff to my Email. Thanks!  
  
Anyway, so you won't forget me, I've decided to give you some bloopers for the show! Have fun!  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Yes, that's right! Not everything on the set of 'Kitty! Rurouni Kenshin' always goes as planned! Actually, nothing /ever/ goes as planned... Take a look at some of our slip-ups and screw-ups not seen on our show!  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Kitty- *Walks out on stage while talking to audience* Hey, every- *slips on newly waxed floor* Kenshin! Not so much wax! Oh...my back!  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~  
  
Jurromaru- Well, it's twelve o'clock. Time for my afternoon tea. Would anyone care to join me?  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*  
  
Saitou- *On his way to his dressing room* ... *walks inside*  
  
Kitty- Oh, Saitou, sorry about our dressing room. We didn't think you'd mind it too much in the janitor's closet.  
  
Saitou- *steps out calmly*... *spits mop out of his mouth, curses*  
  
Kitty- *whacks him* PG rating, ookami-baka!  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Kaoru- *back in Kenshin's dressing room* Kenshin, screw it in. Twist! I didn't think this would be so hard...  
  
Kenshin- Kaoru-dono, it's stuck!  
  
Sanosuke- *walks past, stops at door* He he he. Kenshin, you old dog...  
  
Kaoru- What do you mean, 'it's stuck'?  
  
Kenshin- Sessha thinks it may be too big.  
  
Kaoru- nonsense! A little harder!  
  
Kitty- *smashes down the door* What in Kami's name are you doing?!?!?!  
  
(Kenshin and Kaoru stare at Kitty in confusion. Kenshin is holding a light bulb.)  
  
Kitty- *smacks herself in the forehead and mumbles, walking away* Scare me half to death... in the dressing room... should have asked the janitor... Bakas... I thought... grumble, grumble...  
  
Kenshin- I wonder what Kitty-dono was so upset about.  
  
Sanosuke- *sighs*  
  
(Much apologies about this one. I read so many of these misguided assumption fics before, I thought I'd stick one in here. I didn't really mean to offend anyone. If you are... please don't kill me.) *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Tsubame- Yahiko-chan, where are you? Yahiko-chan! YAHIKO-CHAN!  
  
Yahiko- *goes insane* GAAAHHH! Chan, chan, chan, chan, chan, chan, chan. *laughing hysterically* Yahiko-chan! That's me! WWWWHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!  
  
Fluffy- *hits him over the head from behind with a broom* Yikes!  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Yumi- Shishio-sama, I'm off to join a three ring circus, but I'll write plenty of letters!  
  
Shishio- I always knew this day would come. Yumi, you go fulfill your dream of cleaning out circus elephant cages!  
  
Yumi- Oh, thank you, Shishio-sama! *skips away to become a poop-scooper*  
  
Shishio- I'm soo proud of her. And now I'm completely single! Ye-eah!  
  
Kaoru- Hey, lookin' good, Shish.  
  
Kenshin- Kaoru-dono, what's our rule about associating with evil?  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
S.D.- *backstage, having coffee with SG* So, we're both unappreciated characters in this fic, and aren't even given the dignity of real names- let's go take over the world! Then they would see!  
  
SG- *shakes head*  
  
S.D.- No? How about we take over Japan?... No? Tokyo?... No? 'Kitty!'?... What do you want to take over then?  
  
SG- *holds up pack of cigarettes, crushes them in his hand*  
  
S.D.- *sighs*  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Kenshin- *waxing floor* Hit me over the head, will she? Baka Kitty-dono... Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, but revenge is, too... *laughs evilly*  
  
~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Kitty- Kenshin! You're on in five! Oh, no! Battousai, what are you doing? What's wrong?  
  
Battousai- Can't I get a moment of peace to cross-stitch?  
  
(Battousai has created a scene from the Bakamatsu. He is decapitating a soldier, and the sampler is very graphic.)  
  
Kitty- Oh, why did I expect anything else? *walks out* Even I'm too old for this...  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Saitou- *is walking down the backstage hallways, singing* Joy to the World... SG is gone, and now I'll have a smoke. I li-ike Smokie-O-o-os, but anything will do-o-o, I just need nicotine, I just need nicotine, I just, I ju-u-ust need nic-o-tine. Hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm! *turns corner*  
  
SG- *folds arms, taps foot, and waves patch*  
  
Saitou- *cries*  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~  
  
Aoshi- This tea tastes funny... *passes out*  
  
Rabid Fan Girl- *laughs maniacally, begins to drag Aoshi away by his ankles*  
  
(Flash of color jumps on RFG [oh, no, more abbriv.])  
  
Misao- No! Aoshi-sama!  
  
(RFG and Misao begin fighting over Aoshi)  
  
Aoshi- *rubs temple* I feel better. *walks away*  
  
(RFG and Misao are still wrestling.)  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Kenshin- *still waxing floor*  
  
Kitty- *walks towards where Kenshin's wax spree began* Oh, hi Kenshin! I have good news! I talked the producers into giving you a raise!  
  
Kenshin- Uh... Uh-oh.  
  
Kitty- *slips on wax* Dammit, Kenshin! Say goodbye to that raise!  
  
Kenshin- *runs*  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Kitty- *sits in trailer eating cat food, is in a robe and fuzzy slippers watching TV*  
  
Fluffy- *peeks camera in the window* he he he.  
  
Kitty- *sees camera* FLUFFY!!!!!! You- die- NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *attacks camera, runs into window first*  
  
Fluffy- *runs like hell's at her heels, which in fact it is because Kitty's right behind her* EEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKK!  
  
(Sounds of growling, hissing and barking are heard.)  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
(Misao and RFG still wrestling on the floor.)  
  
~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Sano- *is just finishing his interview* So, Trebeck...  
  
A.T.- *humming the Jeopardy theme song, like he has been for three hours straight* do do do do do do do. Do do do do DO do do do do do. Do do do do do do do. DO do do do do do do.  
  
Sano- Make him stop!  
  
Kitty- *shrugs*  
  
Sano- *punches him*  
  
A.T.- Do d-  
  
Kitty- Uh-oh! Sano, RUN! RUN FAST!!  
  
*sirens*  
  
*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Kenshin- I do not have a split personality problem, that I do not.  
  
Battousai- Yes you do.  
  
Kenshin- Get out of here!  
  
Battousai- Make me.  
  
Rurouni- Look, now you have three personalities!  
  
Battousai- You're an idiot.  
  
Kenshin- Oro!? That wasn't nice.  
  
Rurouni- I'm gonna go wander, that I am. *walks away*  
  
Kenshin- Yes! One down one to go!  
  
Battousai- What was that?  
  
Kenshin- Nothing.  
  
Battousai- ... I'm going to go slay someone.  
  
Kenshin- ORO?!? Oroorororororororororororororororororororo!  
  
Battousai- *has walked away*  
  
Kenshin- Wait! *runs after him*  
  
Kitty- ...and so we have seen the many mysterious sides of Kenshin in... *creepy music* The Twilight Zone. Do Do do DO! The end. Or is it? *laughs sinisterly*  
  
~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Yahiko- *stands up* Ow. *rubs head*  
  
Tsubame- AAAHHHHH!!!! It's Yahiko! Run!  
  
Yahiko- Hmm. Wonder what that was about.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
(Misao and RFG still wrestling on floor.)  
  
Misao- Hey! Where did Aoshi-sama go?  
  
RFG- *shrugs*  
  
Misao- Want to go buy fan girl stuff?  
  
RFG- *nods violently*  
  
Misao- Aoshi-sama is still mine, though.  
  
RFG- *tackles her*  
  
(Misao and RFG are back at it.)  
  
Kitty- *singing* This is the scene that never ends, it just goes on and on my friends, you know I started writing it not knowing what it was if I don't stop now I'll write forever just because this is the scene that never ends...  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Saitou- *on the phone* What do you mane they won't take me?!?! (pause) But, you don't understand, I HAVE to get out of here! *looks around nervously*  
  
Saitou fan girl- (outside door) I wonder where he got off to... Maybe in here... locked?!?!?! Come on, girls!  
  
Saitou- AAAHHHHH!  
  
SFG- He's in here! Let's steal his clothes and auction them off on E-bay!  
  
Other SFGs- Yeah!  
  
Saitou- *girly scream*  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
The Rabid Fan People's Convention Location: Currently gathering in Tokyo, Japan Objective: To harass and torment with love the characters of Rurouni Kenshin  
  
Agent 1- So, everyone knows what to do?  
  
Fans- Yeah!  
  
Agent 1- Go! Go! Go! Go! GO!  
  
Jurromaru- *knocks down the door* Now see here! You've interrupted my tea with your kidnapping plot! Let's go...  
  
Keylala, Keyrara and Keyshasha***- *growl, help Juromaru arrest rabid fans*  
  
Agent 2- Curses! Foiled again! And we would have gotten away with it, too if not for you and... those meddling dogs!  
  
Jurromaru- Nutcases.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
*View of Kitty back in her trailer, finishing her cat food*  
  
Fluffy- *sticks camera back in window*  
  
Kitty- *attacks her*  
  
*Screen freezes as Jerry Springer walks in front of it*  
  
Jerry Springer- And remember, be kind to each other.  
  
Oprah- *blur flies into JS, knocking him down* Screw you, Springer!  
  
JS- *cheap kung fu movie mode, JS's mouth doesn't move in time with his words* I knew I should have gotten rid of you when I had the chance, you killed my father and disgraced my family.  
  
O- Did not!  
  
JS- Did so!  
  
O- Did not!  
  
Kitty- *hits them both over the head with frying pans* That was annoying..  
  
~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
More bloopers soon! (As if the entire show isn't a blooper.)  
  
Nothing to write. Vote on Misao's fate! 


End file.
